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How NOT to talk to women, Part 1.  

Gimmie_your_load 40F
1291 posts
10/11/2011 2:02 pm

Last Read:
7/15/2012 5:26 pm

How NOT to talk to women, Part 1.


So I am going to let you all have a peak at an email exchange I had the other day, with the other party's name redacted. I wasn't entirely sure who this guy was when he emailed me, I assume we chatted on AdultFriendFinder a while ago and never connected. Here is the email exchange. I will let my cuggestions within stand for themselves without further comment. Without further adieu: How not to talk to women:

Him: haven't talked in a while, love your new photo. you on facebook?

Me: nope, not a facebook gal

Him: would you like to ""hangout" sometime?

Me: least sophisticated come on ever

Him: and when has sophistication ever been.... a positive thing

Me: Probably just about since the viking age ended.

Him: haha, i see someone likes jokes..... try not to get too prissy, you're on a adult sex site

Me: How does the fact that i enjoy sex also mean that I don't enjoy conversation, jokes, or intellectual sexuality. I am on a sex site where I blog, publish short stories, and exchange ideas with others. I prefer a little more than a grunt and a head nod in attempts to get me into bed.

Him: You're so funny! Anyone "blogs", don't put up a front that your publishing of "short stories" is anything more... Hustler does the same thing... doesn't mean its a Classy or Refined magazine. Also your afront that a "grunt and a head nod" is all that was being put forward is neither accurate nor just. People can enjoy sex, be monogamous or at least not broadcast there permiscuosity with the world, in fact most normal people do. Congratz on trying to degrade me, but it'd take someone of a little higher moral standards to make the icing stick.

Me: I didn't degrade you, i merely suggested that a polite approach, one that assumes I'm more than a walking vagina, would be much more likely to elicit a positive response. I responded in a way that I was hoping would be taken as both gentle chastisement and humour, and had thought that we were having a light-hearted verbal exchange. Your last email shows for certain that this was not the case.

I use the "blog" only to post my actually stories, which are actually published elsewhere at literotica.com. the AdultFriendFinder blog is little more than another means of publicity for my stories, maybe to direct people who wouldn't otherwise find them to their source.

"Wanna hangout some time" is the current modern equivalent to a caveman grunt and nod. It is both accurate and just as an analogy.

You know nothing about my "morals", and in fact a little reading would show you that I reject even the ideal of absolute morality. I would suggest to you that if you think your own "morals" are so high and mighty, you should probably not be trawling a sex site for casual encounters. Just friendly advice.

I'll give you another piece, free of charge: women in the real world don't drop anything to fuck a guy they've never met based on his asking if they want to "hangout" some time. If you real goal is to actually meet someone, you should probably adjust your approach.



Your Cock Sucker,



Lucia


Justwanttoodoit 47M

4/21/2021 2:04 pm

Oh my, I am not a paying member here yet. Was reading your stories and could not stop. I am not much of a reader, yet I found myself very involved with your stories, I guess as I get older I have learned to appreciate effort and detail. Thumbs up on both. You are very attractive and talented. Best wishes!


LiLxSN8TR 44M
45 posts
12/14/2018 7:07 am

Well played, I enjoyed reading that little exchange. That last shot of yours totally skinned him, schooled him, pulled his pants down and just gave it to him haha there was no coming back from that one! Thanks for sharing.

How NOT to talk to women, Part 1


rickyspanish76 48M
7843 posts
10/10/2015 5:04 pm

Love your writing...well done


VioletDeliriums 55T  
3527 posts
8/8/2012 12:02 am

some people just do not get it...i wind up talking about sex hardly at all so that i won't be treated like that...but even so just being a TG you get lumped into the sexual "freak" category, someone to be used and discarded...it strikes me as misogyny to be treated like that...yes, i like to have sex just like anyone else and i love making my partner feel good...but how can i like someone who treats me like that guy treated you?..."sex site" does not mean "treat people like shit and get a blowjob"...they don't get that politeness is the first step!!! thanks.


Khakimon 51M
62 posts
7/8/2012 10:25 am

Wow. It looks like some sexually frustrated testosterone-head who expects women to spread their legs at the mere utterance of "Wanna fuck?" blew through this entry and pissed his misogynist disdain in the form of a string of Disagree votes. Here's a bunch of Agree votes to right the wrongs.

And like others on here have said, merely having a profile on this site is not a waiver against receiving common courtesy or giving it. Even if the woman is a massage house prostitute and you've just paid her $100 for a happy ending, be polite. The woman will appreciate it (even if you just paid for the sex and thus can expect it) and the sex tends to be better as a result. In all cases, sex should never be expected or demanded; it's always a negotiation, a verbal dance which must be danced well before the carnal dance comes into view. Woo, entice, charm and exchange ideas. Never grunt.

Maybe it's something ingrained into society and gender roles. As a bisexual, I've received come-on messages from both sexes. The women don't contact me nearly as often as the men do, but the women are always diplomatic. And out of all the other men trying to get into my pants, about half of them are the clueless "Wanna fuck?" halfwits. So it's not just women catching this static in their Inboxes; gay and bi men get to put up with it too.

You would think that this would be common knowledge. Didn't these troglodytes have mothers too?


rm_HermansBoy 76M
1475 posts
4/1/2012 1:22 am

I think that a combination of being on a site that promises "Get laid tonight!" and on a blog that calls you a "cock sucker" leads these guys to forget what their Moms taught them. Personally I think this site inspires woman haters to act out their true feelings.

HermansBoy


rm_Terradactyl 56M
57 posts
3/12/2012 7:07 pm

unfortunate these types of guys make themselves look like a jack ass and make things even harder for the great guys out there to connect with a great girl...


697710 47M

2/22/2012 6:17 pm

hola


Gimmie_your_load 40F
64 posts
11/30/2011 1:15 pm

    Quoting rm_tasterxxx:
    It is very challenging to communicate within the confines of this website. I would like to chat with you about writing. I like to write as well and erotic writing is really fun. If you are interested, I would like to chat with you about your stories.
hey hun! thanks for writing, I've emailed you back. Just in case it doesnt get through, feel free to contact me



Your Cock Sucker,



Lucia


rm_tasterxxx 61M
8 posts
11/29/2011 11:49 am

It is very challenging to communicate within the confines of this website. I would like to chat with you about writing. I like to write as well and erotic writing is really fun. If you are interested, I would like to chat with you about your stories.


Gimmie_your_load 40F
64 posts
11/13/2011 7:31 am

    Quoting  :

I absolutely recognise that my profile makes me MORE of a terget for these meatheads; however, every women on AdultFriendFinder with the barest of profiles experiences the same emails; I just get more volume. None of that excuses the laziness of it all. it takes 1 minute to write a decent email... considering the potential payoff is a blowjob, I would think it worth the investment.



Your Cock Sucker,



Lucia


Gimmie_your_load 40F
64 posts
10/23/2011 5:11 am

    Quoting  :

A: Not a maritimer.
B: No woman is ever "asking for it". By your logic, the of a "slutty" dressed woman is acceptable.
C: Being sexual doesn't mean I don't apreciate creativity, intelligence, and common courtesy. Unless my profile states overtly "treat me like meat" its not too much to ask that guys er on the side of courtesy.
D: "Lets hang out" is not a first move. A first move is "hi, my name is ______." This should be followed by getting to know the barest facts about the other person, before offering to meet. This is both logical and reasonable; unfortunately those are two standards to which I hold men.
E: Thank you for your input; however, the tone of your message suggests that a person has no right to be uninterested and mildly offended by carbon copy emails sent to any woman on AdultFriendFinder. If a guy isn't willing to write me an original email that addresses at least one aspect of me or my profile... how exciting can I imagine he would be in bed. I would just be another hole for his dick. No thanks.



Your Cock Sucker,



Lucia


propreffered 35M
150 posts
10/20/2011 9:53 pm

i guess what ur forgetting is that communicating through this site is almost IMPOSSIBLE! if you wanna have a chat and get to know each other, than email has to be exchanged or something. i am not able to communicate in that way with anyone here. i ALWAYS ask to hang out or something ANYTHING to get to you the person better. I NEVER GET A RESPONSE. just because im asking to hangout doesnt mean i want to fuck you like a piece of meat. i cant just stick my dick in random pussy, I NEED TO KNOW THE PERSON BEHIND IT. but its impossible with girls here. ITS HARDER FINDING A GIRL FOR FUN ON HERE, THAN IT IS IN THE REAL WORLD. not because of the way i approach, but because everygirl here thinks they are royalty and never respond to anything, not even a simple HELLO . GRR!


Fuxlikeadream 43M

10/20/2011 7:03 am

I have heard similar stories from almost every female friend that I have met on AdultFriendFinder. I think the "problem" is that this site attracts a very high proportion of men who lack the social skills to seduce a woman in the "real world" so they take to the Internet to compensate. Thus, the "caveman grunt." It's the equivalent of a creepy stare or cheesy come-on line in a bar. Couple that with sexy pictures and an erotic undertone, and I believe that the testosterone rush diminishes what little capacity these poor lads had to begin with.
--
This is my first foray into reading your blog, and I am already thoroughly entertained. I look forward to reading more.


rm_bloggindude 43M
2 posts
10/19/2011 5:58 am

Seems to me you have a pretty wide fan base here. Also seems this guy could use a little defense. Although the coversation obviously went south, I fail to see any ill intentin asking you if you wanted to 'hang out'. Granted, it lacked imagination on his part. I just don't see the initial approach as something that needed to be assaulted. How do you know it wasn't improvisation for, 'I'm trying to find something amusing to pass my time, and at the same time, I believe I could use some company to improve the times passing.You interested in passing some time with me and finding out if we have enough like interests to continue knowing each other on a social level?' But then what do I know right? I'm just another low brow neanderthal... ( did I spell that right ma'am?). I only looked at your blog because I think you're a stunning sight to behold. Thought to myself, 'Wonde what she has to say?'. Sorry to break a record of yes men and women followers. I'd love to bethe lucky guy you 'hang out' with, but my guess is tat I just voted myself off of pleasure island.


razzley2k 61M
45 posts
10/19/2011 5:15 am

you were certainly more patient than you needed to be. Some people just don't get it. too bad he'll never appreciate the gestuire , comments and advice and just keeps on going the way he probaly always has. I hope you realize that that kind of man is the very vocal minority.


rm_sladew69 49M
14 posts
10/13/2011 12:11 pm

Well, I was going to ask you if you wanted to "hangout" but someone beat me to the punch...

Love your writing; you're very talented. Keep up the good work!

Now of course, if you ever did want to hang out and discuss the national debt, or muse on highly philisophical questions such as the chicken and the egg, or just take in the latest installment of "Masterpiece Theater", or even just have sex, let me know!

ha ha.
Keep smiling.

Will


WaveriderHFX 50M
381 posts
10/13/2011 3:45 am

Having read and exchanged numerous ideas concerning writing I can attest that Gimme is quite an intellectual as well as a huge pervert. Does this mean she deserves the lesser and more base attentions of a world class moron? Nope. She deserves understanding and respect just like anyone who is confident enough to write about their darker or more 'vanilla-y' desires. I hope you imparted some wisdom on the dope; I doubt it.
Having read the entire exchange I would like to give the following breakdown of the verbal fight. Gimme's witty reparte equivalent; a rapier. Light, sharp point; slashing bladed edge. An elegant weapon when wielded properly.
Redacted moron's equivalent; neanderthal gripping a pointy rock. Clumsy; often blunt, never staying sharp. Often resulted in neanderthal's death when attacking their 'prey'.
Lesson: Evolve or die.
All the best Gimme; glad to see your mind is as sharp as ever.

"It's going to be LEGEN-wait for it-hope you're not lactose intolerant-DAIRY!" - Barney Stinson


rm_leftyfun 62M
219 posts
10/12/2011 7:08 pm

well done, love your stories and your new pic. you are a very talented writer!


md25guy 48M
39 posts
10/12/2011 5:37 am

good work, simple yet to the point and was as polite as you can get really. He simply does not get that people are people and not just here for the hookup. most of us are here for th e whole package thatcomes with meetingsomeone new, talking, the sparka nd interest and getting to knowand explorewith some newfreinds. not just the animal side of sniff, mount and fuck LOL

you stories are very good and your blog is well worth the read that everyoneshould do.


Hammerdeep69 44M
38 posts
10/11/2011 6:13 pm

Wanna hang out sometime?

(sorry I had to)


DarkNJPassenger 46M
403 posts
10/11/2011 5:09 pm

Wait...what about if we hang out sometime, I hit you over the head with a ham bone or turkey leg and drag you back to my van? Doesn't that turn women on?? I can't fathom where I could possibly be going wrong - that HAS to score!!

...I guess some guys just get flustered when you use words larger than their cock size...Keep up the good work hun.

And thank fuck you're not a Facebook chick!!


Gimmie_your_load 40F
64 posts
10/11/2011 3:49 pm

    Quoting Newbies6996:
    agreed, nicely put. Just because we are all on here on this site, does not give anyone the right to place us in a bow, label us, or stigmatize any of us. I can only speak for myself when i say, i joined this is the in hopes of being open and honest with my sexuality, as well as my fantasies. i also hope to have a more opportunities of fulfilling these fantasies if i am a member of this site. yes I am a pervert, i am proud of that act, but that does not mean that myself being a pervert is ALL i am. just means it is part of who i am. This does not give anyone else the right idea that brutish, disrespectful and degrading come on's like this are in any way ok. We are all people, and we all have other aspirations, thoughts, and ideas outside the realm of sex and sexuality.

    thank you for trying to show this person we are all on here for more then just that.

    ps. i enjoy your blog, please write as much as you can
Thank you for your wonderful response. You put it even better than I did I think. And I agree... I may be a pervert... but thats not ALL I am. It does not define me.

Keep reading and I'll keep writing!



Your Cock Sucker,



Lucia


Newbies6996 41M/38F

10/11/2011 3:30 pm

agreed, nicely put. Just because we are all on here on this site, does not give anyone the right to place us in a bow, label us, or stigmatize any of us. I can only speak for myself when i say, i joined this is the in hopes of being open and honest with my sexuality, as well as my fantasies. i also hope to have a more opportunities of fulfilling these fantasies if i am a member of this site. yes I am a pervert, i am proud of that act, but that does not mean that myself being a pervert is ALL i am. just means it is part of who i am. This does not give anyone else the right idea that brutish, disrespectful and degrading come on's like this are in any way ok. We are all people, and we all have other aspirations, thoughts, and ideas outside the realm of sex and sexuality.

thank you for trying to show this person we are all on here for more then just that.

ps. i enjoy your blog, please write as much as you can


HappyTmes 68M
668 posts
10/11/2011 2:32 pm

Some men just don't "get it". You put him in his place. Good job! Keep the streets clean for those that enjoy a witty lady.


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